A few weeks into the start of first grade, my eldest child turned to me and said, “I wish there was a way you could teach me school instead of going to school.” We had experienced the usual suspects of not wanting to go to kindergarten and an uptick in not wanting to go to class in first grade, but this still struck me as surprising. I adored school as a kid. And I like to joke that if I could afford to be a lifetime student, I would.
Spoiler alert: It’s not actually a joke. I just finished a master’s degree and am already thinking about if there is another master’s I’d like to try for or if I should consider a Ph.D.
I was baffled by a child who didn’t want to go to school. It turned out, though, that she did want to go to school. She just didn’t enjoy her learning environment. She wanted to be in a smaller group. She wanted to be able to actively engage with her teacher and peers more often. She wanted to be challenged in her learning and also free to follow subjects that were interesting to her. She wanted to learn how to learn and to love the experience.
So, I replied, “Well, there is a way for me to teach you. It’s called homeschool.” And this began a discussion we’ve been having for years now.
My first concern was that I wouldn’t be a good enough teacher. Since my eldest was already testing well above grade level, I figured there was no harm in trying to homeschool for a year (her first grade school year.) After all, if I were terrible, she’d still be able to enter second grade easily.
My next concern was that she’d be sad or lonely without other kids. As she pointed out, though, she didn’t really play with kids that much during school. They often had to sit and listen to lessons, recess was short, as was lunch, and talking in class wasn’t usually allowed. And she’d still play with friends after school or during extracurriculars.
After covering a few other points, we decided to unenroll her from the public school, and I set up a classroom space in our home. And this child THRIVED. I could see immediately that she was more engaged in learning, happier, and more curious about things again. She read a ton, asked for math games, built her own inventions, and, in general, behaved like a child enjoying the heck out of childhood.
Each year, we have a discussion about what kind of schooling she’d like to do, and she always wants to stay at home. We did make a deal to try another full school year at a more traditional program to give her a frame of reference. Her side of the deal was to go the full year and give it a fair shot. Our side was after this full year, she could continue homeschooling for as long as she’d like. She enjoyed pieces of the year, but in the end, knew she wanted to return to homeschool without any hesitation. So she came back.
Our schooling has changed over the years as we have grown through this process. We love incorporating local enrichment programs and online classes, so I’m not her only teacher. And we’ve added two other students (my younger kids) to the mix. But my child loves learning new things, continues to test well beyond her grade level, has friends she loves, and has shown zero regrets about the choice she made five years ago.
I’m happy to dive into more details about our resources and recommendations in a future post. If you’d like to hear more on the topic of homeschooling, send me a note or comment below.